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Tiru, May 25 (evening) – 26, 2019

Found myself growing really exasperated with D. tonight. The dissonance between his assertions of nondualism and his constant disparagements of everyone around him is the salient feature of his discussion. As if there are two themes: Bhagavan (God) and the others (devils). I wonder if he is suffering from some form of paranoia (though his fears are actually well founded)? This does not go at all well with his philosophy. It would be better to acknowledge a failure to realize his understanding than to travel with this, pretending all the while that the universe is a figment. It's obviously very real to him.

Slept poorly, with this and other thoughts. The "Good Night" anti-mosquito stuff gave me a headache. Read part of a Toma Persico article that Dorit sent, about his stay in Tiruvannamalai. It's true, on first sight, what he says about the over-seriousness of many of the Western disciples, who look like gnarled pieces of wood. Persico quotes Alan Watts: Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.