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Tiru: May 23, 2019

Sitting in the first hall at the Ashram. A man is sitting next to me reading a newspaper. People seem to do what they want here. Earlier, in the place where the newspaper reader sat, was a man who read aloud Sanskrit slokas. The temple as coffee shop. I set up my stall here, cloth for the floor, bag, water bottle, mala. Self-contained. Mostly doing nothing. Sometimes doing japa. Staring into space. Seldom dozing or dreaming, as it is better to stay awake and observe.

I listen respectfully to D's advice regarding vichara (self-inquiry), while realizing that it is not my practice. Just as I have listened to many others in a similar way. Perhaps I'm ineducable. But it is correct to be respectful of a person's deeply held spiritual beliefs, rather than engage in disputes. Especially when they are more advanced in their practices than I am in mine. But previously discussion has helped me to come to what little insight I have attained.

At some point I will need to explain to D at least my practice, rather than go on pretending to be doing something that I am not doing. What I'm trying to develop is very important. It may not be unique. But it is somewhat necessary to arrive at it by my own steam.