Mental Distractions

10 May 2022

Tech problems | stress

Just before an enormously busy period at work, my home server crashed. I'd had problems with the internet connection, rebooted the router a few times, and turned off the power, without shutting down the server, as a result of which it seems to have damaged the disk. FSCK gets stuck. It's going to take me a while to get back to normal, so, for now, have moved the blog back to my fastmail storage. It's easy enough to do with a simple static blog like this one. I just haven't been able to bring back all the photos yet. For now, there's a way to blog again.

Actually, I feel lazy about re-establishing Hubzilla, and I wonder if I actually need the hassle of managing a complex php mysql system when I can blog so easily in simple html, and know exactly what I'm doing. People can do awe-inspiring, wonderful things with the web, but I'm a Luddite. Lud is actually just down the road from here.

It was amusing trying to manage with my primitive technological interface when attempting to pick up people from the airport this week. The only way to communicate with them was WhatsApp, but I refuse to use that, so had to rely on someone relaying the back and forth between us. This happened on two occasions. But somehow it eventually did work, and I was able to pick them up.

Now I have a problem with presentations. One guy did his in Canva, an online presentation platform. I told him I'm not gonna sign up for the service, so he'd better download it in some other format. He didn't know how to do that, so I've sent him a video clip on how it's done. Another woman did her presentation on yet another online presentation platform, Emaze. I'm not signing up for that one either, and asked her to download it for me. She's probably just as clueless.

The truth is, I can manage with all these services better than most people, but the time when I would agree to use them is past. I'm gradually receding into my little Luddite low-stress paradise, and if people want something from me they will eventually have to come down to my level.

Yesterday it dawned on me how I am at once the calmest person in the world, but also among the most irritable. Ninety-percent of the time I'm guilelessly peaceful, but occasionally do get irate. It's because I choose a life-style that is peaceful, and not that I'm inherently calm. Take me out of my artificially concocted environment, and I'm peaceful no longer. I don't cope very well with adverse or challenging situations, and my threshold is fairly low at times. Probably what stresses me out differs from what stresses most other people out, because I would say that I'm also unusually patient.

That I'm easily stressed does not mean that I'm living with stress, and suffering its harmful effects. Yesterday I met someone who, at the age of 63, was advised to retire. He had been living such a stressful life and working such long hours that his heart and respiratory system were failing. He quickly had three bypass surgeries and indeed retired. Now, he looks peaceful. I didn't need my health to go down hill before deciding to live peacefully, fortunately.

Tags: technology
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